Wetlands: A Novel

How about mucous, mold, smegma, pus, earwax, menstrual blood, hemorrhoids, and... crusty... panties?If the answer is a resounding "yes" to any of those, then you are just going to LOVE Wetlands. Wetland is the 50 Shades of Gray for filth fetishists (all 47 of you out there). Buy it and a jumbo pack of double A's and notify your guilds you won't be on this weekend. If you have a fetish that involves any kind of bodily fluid or function, you'll find it in here, and you won't be getting out of bed.Everybody else: buy soap.Like 50 Shades, a reed thin plot that not even the author cares about strings together scene after brutally detailed scene of adventures in fringe sexuality. Except it's not BDSM, but the mysophilia lifestyle (?!) that is shown, as you live in the head Helen Memel, a teenage girl stuck in the hospital recovering from a horrific, uh, "shaving accident." Between childish acts of unsanitary mischief and plots to get her divorced parents back together, Helen reminisces fondly about all the fun she's had with things society finds disgusting, exploring their tastes, textures, smells, and masturbatory potential.I pride myself on not flinching away from controversial content in books. But I admit, Wetlands had me skimming. A lot. Being a bit of a hygiene freak, I took this book on as a personal challenge and man, it was CHALLENGING to get through! But I did, and despite it's unpleasant focus and intensity, I liked it... sort of?I'm giving Wetlands 3 stars solely because, no matter how deeply disturbed she is, the character of Helen Memel is stubbornly likable. I didn't want to like Helen, in fact I hated her at first. But to my chagrin by the end I found did like her and was sorry to leave her. Her cheerful, disarmingly companionable voice just drew me in. She follows her grotesque bliss with an unabashed self confidence and innocence that you just have to admire. I found myself wishing I could sit down and have a drink with Helen (as long as it was one I'd brought and kept an eye on at ALL times...).It's no easy feat for an author to create a character who revels in everything filthy and disgusting, yet manages to be charming enough that even a squeamish person like me would hang out with her. If nothing else, this book is a great study in how to make difficult characters compelling for readers. I recommend aspiring authors read this.

I stumbled across this short oddball novel last night, grew curious, given that it sold a million copies in Germany, and was made into a film — so read it today in an hour and a half. It’s not very long. I’m not even sure it’s very good, but it was very quick. The film version recently toured Sundance, so you can get a glimmer via the preview.Wetlands is a sort of literary equivalent of Human Centipede. In some ways, it’s so perverse you just can’t help reading/watching. There are two things going on in this tight little first person tale. First is Helen’s “unusual” (many would say grotesque) point of view and its inherent fascination — and I have to admit, it’s perversely fascinating. Second there’s an attempt to make the delivery of said POV actually have a meaning.The first works. The second doesn’t (for me).Helen is a girl who likes sex, avocados, and bodily fluids. She has a particular fondness for anything “dirty.” She spends the entire novel in the hospital reminiscing. She’s there for a shaving cut gone particularly bad, in a place where the sun don’t shine. And she falls in love with her male nurse for no particular reason. During her mental wanderings she explores all aspects of her particular “tastes” for what one might consider the gross. No body fetish is left untouched. No fluid unspilled. No orifice is safe. She likes it all. Wallows in it really. Roche has a knack for this — and we have to wonder about the warm wet corners of her own mind — but it’s quite effective. Probably shocking for many. Really. I’m not easily shocked, but I was impressed by the lengths to which she went (as an author). I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything short of a twisted internet story quite so NSFW.I’m fairly convinced the above ick factor was the major driving force behind the book. And the resultant buzz behinds sales. That and it being Germany. But the author tried to give meaning to this poor disturbed teen’s emotional state by interjecting a “plot” involving her divorced parents, her one sided attraction to her nurse, and her need for attention. In general, the dialog is impoverished and no one other than the narrator/protagonist has any development. So when what seems to be a totally one sided affair reverses on the penultimate page, it felt entirely forced and hollow.So in terms of the book’s conventional character arc the novel fails miserably. But it does succeed at painting this oddball, fascinating, rather perverse character portrait. And I “enjoyed” my 90 minutes.Andy Gavin, author of Untimed and The Darkening Dream

I don’t mind how graphic it is (although a lot of the explicit sex drivel is just silly and probably not anatomically possible,) but it just goes nowhere. One paragraph after another about how she loves this bodily fluid or the other, she likes to rub this or scratch that. Yeah, fine, I’m thrilled you’re so open about your body, really, but how about a bit of plot, character development, exposition? I’ll read nearly any genre, and finish nearly every book ever, but I really don’t know if I can be bothered with the second half.

Please don't read this if you have a weak stomach !It's very very detailed and very imaginative but not for everyone.Ok now you've been warned by me and everyone else here it seems, the choice is yours haha.Yeah i mean it is pretty gross, but there's kind of more to it than that....well i would like to think there is , some parts make you want to just put it down and stop reading because you're thinking 'what's the point , she's just trying to gross us out as much as she can' but it's actually a good book , and it's weird to say that given the topics and the content but there is some heart in there somewhere. You just have to have a good hard look.If you look past the varied and very strong nature of the main characters knack for describing every inch of her & what she produces , it is a good book and i mean , i couldn't put it down (even if one bit especially did nearly turn my stomach 360...bed brake pedal..for anyone that's read it).It's very different from anything ive read , sure ive read books that are detailed when it comes to such 'taboo' subjects , and books that focus on a very controversial topic but never anything quite like this.I wouldn't read it again , and i very much doubt i would recommend it to anyone i know but all i can say is it's a page turner and it's unique.Some of the stuff the main character comes out with is quite refreshing and im sure there will be things the reader can connect with on some level , you might read things and think 'oh my god yeah i do that' or 'haha yeah..' .So if you're curious , have a strong stomach and don't mind books that a bit out there, then i'd recommend.If you have a weak stomach , are easily offended and have never read anything other than romance novels & you've ended up here by some weird twist or turn , id suggest you hit that back arrow and continue looking at what you previously were. You'll thank me.

I LOVE this book. I think every teenage in the world should read it. I believe it should be added to our education system. Nope this book is ain't shallow as it might first seem, it is ocean deep. It carries important message to the world.People today are ashamed of their sexuality, specially women. Women need to embrace their sexuality and the society has to accept that women who are sexually active are Heroes not Whores.Also the liberation of the 60's and the 70's has not yet settled in the society the way it was meant to be.We think of genitals as a dirty thing, where as we all came from there. Moreover the book is very entertaining to read. I would love to send all of my love and awe to the writer Ms. Charlotte Roche. I LOVE YOU.

As with several others I bought this book after seeing the rave reviews. And as with others I found the book utterly "put-downable". To the extent that I've actually given up on it and never finished reading it. There was no story to be found anywhere. Frankly it was more like something a rebellious adolescent would write, trying to find as many ways to shock and disgust their parents or teachers, and feeling quite proud of themselves for their achievements. With very little effect and no impact. And I do hope that the theme isn't actually based on the author's life; surely nobody can be that self-obsessed whilst at the same time being so fundamentally unhygienic, unhealthy, unclean, selfish and lacking in self-respect? If so, then I have seriously over-estimated human nature.Apart from the motive behind the book, the content itself is actually very boring; page after page of allegedly shocking actions poorly written. Unless it's just something the English speakers and readers amongst us have missed. Perhaps it really is quite an astounding book and just lost something in translation? Hmm, perhaps not.Boring, shallow, complete lack of storyline and very unengaging. Oh, and did I say boring?

What to say? What to say? With 30 plus reviews, it's likely that everything I have to say here is a regurgitation of what's been written previously, but I thought I'd put in my opinion.I had been waiting to read Wetlands since I heard about the original German version, and was excited to finally begin the English copy but was quickly disappointed. I'm not squeamish, and I'm definitely not easily shocked and so this book appeared more desperate than ground-breaking. Some of the unhygenic and unconventional things Helen does are undeniably disgusting and more than likely, shocking, to the vast majority of readers, but there appears to be very little reason to base an entire book around these incidents.I bought this book at the end of January, and am still struggling to find enough motivation to read it. Apart from the author's refreshing decision to include content regardless of (or to invoke] reader-shock, I find this book to be boring, overrated and overarchingly unneccessary.